If you’re looking for a prejudiced review of the Twilight Saga, please go away and find someone with an easy/hackneyed opinion. As it happens, I liked the first film. I don’t know why – maybe it reminded me of the teenage angst of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, or maybe it was the oestrogen pills I was taking at the time. Whatever the case, like Ronseal, it did exactly what it says on the tin.

Shia Labeouf and Megan Fox star in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS A REVIEW. IT ALSO CONTAINS SPOILERS.